Catnip
by Akito Rose Keen
Summary: CHAPTER 3 UPDATED! We all know Kyo is a little bit less than cat-like in most cases, but are he and his Zodiac animal more alike than we know?
1. Chapter 1: Shigure's Joke

**A/N: Welcome to my very first Fanfiction! I hope you like. Me and my friend Savi were thinking about this one for a while, and I thought I'd see what I could piece together.**

**Reviews: I'm not going to whine for reviews, but I'm an insane perfectionist, so I would really like some. I appreciate flames as well. Even if they don't make sense, it's still fun to read them. So please review, and I hope you enjoy!**

**Also, I want everyone to know this-I have NOT finished reading the manga yet, so I go off of the Anime! I may switch back and forth for different stories, but never will I mix anime/manga together in one story. And I'll let you know at the beginning of each one how it'll turn out.**

**Disclaimer: Sure...**

-Shigure-

I snuck into Kyo's room, a face-splitting grin cut into my face. I couldn't wait to tell Ayame about all the fun he'd missed by not coming! I stepped as lightly as I could over the carpeted floor, resulting in little thuds and creaking noises, that I hoped Kyo's keen hearing wouldn't catch. That was the last thing I needed-another beating from Kyo.

I stopped, the smiling dying on my lips as Kyo stirred slightly. My breath hitched in my throat and I clutched the plastic bag in my hand tighter. I was suddenly aware of every nerve in my body, and I could feel every inch of my yukata that touched my skin.

After a few seconds, Kyo settled down, but I stayed still a moment longer out of caution. If Kyo woke up, there would be no escaping to the safe haven that was my study. He'd have me beaten bloody in five minutes.

Okay, maybe two.

I continued on to the closet where Kyo kept his clothes. I opened it as silently as I could before reaching into the plastic bag that was clutched in my fist. I pinched a bit of the ground up leaves and sprinkled it on the hanging clothes, making sure to get it on all the collars.

I walked over to Kyo's bed and sprinkled a little of the substance on his pillow, being careful not to get it on his person.

When I was finished, there was still alot of the stuff left, so I added one more coat to his clothes before leaving his room. I snuck back to my room and put the stuff in my drawer, where Kyo wasn't likely to search for it. He didn't have much reason to bother looking through my things.

Kyo had been getting incredibly irritable with the way it was pouring buckets outside. He could barely bring himself to leave his room, let alone the house. So I figured: Hey, why not give him something to cheer him up a bit?

And what do all cats go for, no matter what?

Catnip.

* * *

-Still Shigure-

I woke this morning to the sounds of Tohru downstairs preparing breakfast. I stood up and put on my fresh yukata, tying the obi especially slow. I just wasn't ready to get up yet! Why was I so tired? Did I stay up late...?

My eyes snapped open as I gasped, realizing why I was so tired. The catnip experiment! I rushed out of my room, trying to be quiet as I padded down the hall. I had to work hard to suppress the giggle that threatened to escape my lips.

When I reached Kyo's room, I couldn't wait to see, so I just opened the door. What I saw almost made me burst out laughing.

Kyo was unconciously rubbing his head up and down on his pillow, eyes closed in sleep and content. Well, I guess it worked.

"Kyo!" I sing-songed. "Time to get up and stop cuddling your pillow!" Okay I couldn't resist that one. He made it too easy! Okay, well technically _I_ made it too easy by supplying the catnip, but still.

His eyes opened quickly and he stopped moving his head on the pillow as soon as he was concious enough to realize what he was doing. The furious blush that rose on his face was reward enough alone for my sneaking into his room, which was extremely risky in itself.

"What the hell are you doing in my room!" Kyo hollered, throwing a nearby book at me. I ducked out of the room just in time. I heard him mutter "Damn dog!" as I closed the door.

I chuckled as I went downstairs for breakfast. "What is my little flower preparing for this morning?" I asked loudly as I entered. I really didn't need to, because I could smell the beef stew and miso soup.

Tohru, however, jumped at my voice, almost tipping over the pot of soup.

"Shigure!" she exclaimed, putting a hand on her chest. "You startled me!" She smiled brightly. "It's beef stew and miso soup today, with some salmon onigiri on the side. Kyo hasn't been feeling very well, so I hoped serving something he likes might make him fell a little better."

At that moment, Yuki stumbled down from the stairs, his hair covering his eyes. Tohru greeted him cheerily, either unaware of or ignoring the fact that he was still half asleep. He made his way silently to the dining room, groaning a bit in response. A few seconds later, a thud followed quickly by a light snore announced that Yuki was officially passed out on the table.

Tohru looked concerned for a moment before getting right back up and putting together a few table settings for breakfast. She carried them into the dining room and I gave a slight chuckle as I watched her scuttle about.

_She's so cute when she's like that_, I thought. Hmm; she was very good at it too. Maybe she should get a job as a waitress or something. She'd probably be better as a waitress than a maid. During the small amount of silence as Tohru put together the fourth and last table setting, I made a less-than-inconspicuous announcement.

"I'm going to go and see what is keeping our friend Kyo this morning." I declared. I walked out of the kitchen, heading upstairs. I tried to brace myself for whatever I would find, but once again all of that flew right out the window the second I opened Kyo's bedroom door.

All his clothes were spread in a pile, and some strewn carelessly across the room. It looked like Kyo had torn his closet apart! But what was _really_ funny was Kyo _himself_.

He was in the midst of the pile, rolling around, his eyes glazed over. His moaned contentedly as he flopped back and forth against the clothes. I burst out laughing, causing Kyo to jump up, already in a fighting stance. It was as if he had forgotten the show he was just putting on completely.

If I didn't see the blush creeping up his neck, I would've lept down the stairs and burst into the dining room to, well, hide behind Tohru. It's not like I don't care if Tohru gets hurt, God, no. It's just that Kyo wouldn't dream of even _accidentally _hurting her, so it wasn't like he was going to go through her to get to me.

He let out a growl and lunged at me. "Get out!" he said. Just before I jumped away from his door, I caught sight of the tomato-like blush that furiously burned away at his whole face. I giggled as I walked downstairs. Tohru and Yuki were sitting at the table, and Yuki was barely awake as he monotonely ate his rice.

Tohru looked at me in concern. "Is Kyo alright?" she asked. "He's not sick is he?"

I shook my head, lazily waving it off. "He's just getting dressed. He's a bit slower than usual though, because of the rain." I sat down to breakfast next to Tohru, and dug into my beef stew. Tohru was an excellent cook.

"Once again, I am in heaven!" I declared melodramatically. Tohru blushed hotly. "My darling little flower's beef stew is as impeccable as ever! Oh how I wish that Ayaa was here to share-" I was about to say "it" when Kyo came in, slapping me hard in the back of the head.

"Finish that sentance and I'll take you down," he said, seriously. I threw my gaze down, knowing that I had blackmail material to use should the need arise. I hmphed and we continued the rest of our meal in silence. I couldn't help but notice that Kyo squirmed a little more and rubbed his arms against the table in his long-sleeved uniform more often than normal.

_He's trying to rub the catnip into his skin_, I thought with a mental chuckle. I smiled knowingly, ignoring a now awake Yuki's questioning gaze.

Breakfast was unofficially deemed "over" when Yuki and Tohru began clearing plates and dishes from the table. Finally, it was just me and Kyo, sitting there.

"Hey," he finally said, looking down so that his hair covered his eyes. "Whatever you did, don't do it again. If you do, you'll be sorry." I smiled and gave a little chuckle as Kyo stormed out of the room, probably on the verge of a breakdown. Or rather "blow up".

They left for school about ten minutes later, Kyo still fuming. Tohru chatted happily as they walked out the door.

I waited and made sure they were definately away from the house before rushing over to the phone. I almost tripped because of my yukata getting tangled around my feet, but I scrambled up and continued anyways. I dialed the number I'd memorized from years of use. The phone picked up on the third ring.

"_Hello, this is Ayame!_" came the regally laid-back voice.

"Oh, Ayaa!" I exclaimed melodramatically. "I have the most hilarious story to tell you!"


	2. Chapter 2: The Snake Arrives

**A/N: Thank my cousins Hatori Keen and kyocookie98 for this one.**

**Reviews: I'm not going to whine for reviews, but I'm an insane perfectionist, so I would really like some. I appreciate flames as well. Even if they don't make sense, it's still fun to read them. So please review, and I hope you enjoy!**

**Also, I want everyone to know this-I have NOT finished reading the manga yet, so I go off of the Anime! I may switch back and forth for different stories, but never will I mix anime/manga together in one story. And I'll let you know at the beginning of each one how it'll turn out.**

**Oh yeah! And that also means that Akito's "big secret" is excluded. So yeah, we've got Anime Akito.**

**Disclaimer: Sure...**

-Shigure-

Did I heed Kyo's warning?

Of course not.

I waited until they were surely gone, and not coming back, before going to my study. During my chat with Ayaa, the snake brought up an especially good point. Kyo obviously had feelings for Tohru, which was part of the reason he was constantly butting heads with Yuki around her. Yuki really was a gentleman, and I guess seeing that just made Kyo angrier.

But still, it presented me with a marvelous opportunity. I was in my study, removing the catnip package from the drawer when I heard a door open. I slammed the leafy substance in the drawer, closing it and scrambling to look natural. Kyo must've gotten mad and skipped out on school again!

"Shigure!" singsonged Ayame as he threw the paper door to my study open gracefully. I leaned back and sighed with relief.

"Oh Ayaa!" I chuckled, glad it wasn't Kyo. "I thought you might be Kyo! This joke has got me paranoid now!" Ayame giggled.

"Well as soon as you hung up the phone I practically flew out the door!" he said loudly. "I knew you would do something mischievious, and I just _had_ to be a part of it!" We "thumbs up"ed each other before I grabbed the catnip and we headed to Tohru's room.

Unlike the night before, in Kyo's blank, masculine room, I was a bit more relaxed. I don't know if it was the fact that it was only Ayame and I, or the fact that Tohru's room was so feminine and sweet. With her adorable tidyness and pink frilly bed, and the little flower in a minute pot she'd recieved from Yuki for her birthday...

I sighed contentedly. I wished my study had this comforting atmosphere. Nevertheless, I was on a mission. I went to her drawers and began sprinkling the little powdered leaves on her blouses. I wished I was able to do her school uniform...Oh well, that could wait until tonight. Ayame helped, making sure than it was all over her sleeves and necklines, and even managing to hide some in the hemming of the sleeve on one of her longer-sleeved shirts.

When we were sure that we could do no more, we left the room, snickering as we talked about what Kyo's reaction would be.

* * *

**A/N: Sorry, but that's all I got for now! Thanks for my one reviewer, whose name is really long and complicated! (If you want to know who she is, go to the reviews page!) Oh yeah, and here's a message to kyocookie98: GET OFF YOUR LAZY BUTT AND REVIEW MY STORY YOU STUPID CAT!**

**To Hatori Keen: REVIEW MY STORY AND POST _THE P SCALE_ YOU SEAHORSE!**


	3. Chapter 3: Washing Machine

**I'm not sure what I can say about my EXTREME lack of updates…sorry? It doesn't seem to cover it. I hope this chapter partly makes up for it.**

**Disclaimer: U_U**

-Shigure-

Ayame and I probably looked like we were drunk, or high on something from the way we were sitting around the table giggling like a couple of little schoolgirls. The cigarette hanging out of my mouth around my mad cackling didn't help.

Suddenly, Ayame froze, looking right above my head. My chuckles didn't cease as I turned around, wondering what could make Ayame pause so abruptly.

"YUKI! MY DEAR BROTHER I'VE AWAITED YOUR RETURN FOR FAR TOO LONG! I MEAN I'VE BEEN WAITING HERE WITH MY GURE FOR HOURS! Not that I'm complaining, he is so lovable! WHERE ON EARTH HAVE YOU BEEN?"

I sometimes wondered how Ayame managed to say things like that all in one breath. Creasing my brows, I glanced at the clock, my eyes widening as I realized that it was almost two hours past the time that the kids usually got home.

"Where are Kyo and Tohru?" I wondered, trying to appear casual. But on the inside, I was screaming. Where had they gone? Had Kyo run away again? Was Tohru hurt? Was she kidnapped? I was more worried about Tohru—which I admittedly felt a bit guilty about; Kyo is my own cousin!—her being the delicate little creature that she is. Kyo…could take care of himself well enough. The worst that could happen if Kyo were missing is my prank being ruined.

"It's Thursday," Yuki replied, as though it explained everything. I frowned, trying to remember what was so special about Thursdays. Seeing the gears in my head turning—or so it seemed—Yuki rolled his eyes.

"Miss Honda is working tonight," he sighed. "And Kyo is with Kazuma."

I literally whacked myself in the forehead at my own stupidity. I'd completely forgotten! Now, if we wanted to see what happened, we'd have to wait until eight or nine o' clock for Kyo to get back, and ten-thirty to eleven for Tohru to return from work.

Tohru's work schedule confused me. If she was living with us, and not having to pay for her own food and stuff, why was she still working so hard? Oh, yeah—her tuition. It wasn't that much, but she'd cut back on her hours at work a lot now that she didn't have to worry about room and board. It was probably a little harder to keep up now. Maybe if she worked an extra night or two…

"GURE!" Ayame's voice broke into my mind, startling me into alertness. "I've said your name four times now!" he huffed, crossing his arms. I frowned.

"Really?" I asked. Both he and Yuki nodded. I shrugged. "I guess I was just distracted. What were you saying, Aaya?" Ayame's slightly bruised ego healed itself as soon as the sentence was out of my mouth. Ayame loved the attention I was more than happy to give him. His stories were usually pretty interesting anyways.

"…So then I said to Mine, 'What do you think of the new night blouse I designed?'. And Gure really it was wonderful, it was red satin with ruffles all up the sides and tiny black bows on the bust. But then Mine has the gall to say to me this. 'Ayame,' she said, 'Don't you think it'd be better if maybe you changed the color to maybe a dark violet rather than such a bloody shade of crimson?' And I told her 'But dark violet with the black bows gives it a sort of gothic air, and that was not my vision! And red is the color of nobility! Imagine the brave hero coming home to his lady fair stained with the crimson blood of the many he had slain so that he would return to her and they would engage in a kiss so passionate that—"

Ayame barely seemed to be breathing around every sentence. Most would find it annoying, but I was too focused on the recap of the conversation. It was a distraction from the prank that would have to be postponed, and it ate up time.

Somewhere between the start of Ayame's conversation and the time we'd agreed to pause for tea, Yuki had made his escape to his bedroom. Hmm…Yuki's bedroom…

"Aaya?" I asked innocently. His head snapped up immediately. "Would you mind terribly if I involved your dear brother in our scheme?" Aaya smirked.

"Oh Gure, what devilish idea have you now?"

CATNIP CATNIP CATNIP CATNIP CATNIP CATNIP CATNIP CATNIP

Kyo had decided to spend the night at Kazuma's Dojo, much to my disappointment, and Tohru got back at around eleven pm. It was much too late for anything exciting to happen. Ayame had gone home at around nine, claiming that he needed his beauty rest, which then led to a long-winded version of "What do you need beauty sleep for?" on my part.

It wasn't until the next morning that I got to have some real fun. Kyo was going straight from Kazuma's to school, but Tohru was still here…

Briefly, I wondered if I should have felt bad about manipulating poor Tohru. Kyo was one thing, but my little flower? I sighed, shrugging. Nothing too bad could happen, right?

I had to wake up at six in the morning if I wanted to catch my chance, but it wasn't as easy as it sounded. I was used to sleeping usually from six o' clock am, to lunch, and then from around two pm to six. For whatever reason, most of my muse seemed to come at night. Maybe it was the quiet that inspired me, for we didn't get much around here during the day, save for the time when the kids were at school.

The washing machine was filling up fast, so if I wanted to get this done, I had to do it quickly. Tohru was standing over the machine, humming contentedly, and it made my heart melt.

"Tohru!" She jumped and turned around immediately.

"Oh, Shigure!" She gasped. "Can I do something for you?"

"Actually, yes," I said brightly. "I think Yuki said something about needing you in the living room!"

"Okay!" she chirped. _Naïve_, I thought. _One of these days, someone's going to tell her to get in their van because they've got puppies. _

I stared at the half-full bag of catnip in my hands before taking a deep breath. This would _not_ go wrong. I put my hand in the bag, pulling out a handful of the substance, dropping it in the washer. Twice more I did this before shutting the machine and starting it.

"Shigure?" Tohru's voice was getting nearer, and soon she was right in front of me. "Yuki was in his bedroom, and he said he didn't need anything."

"Oh," I said confusedly. "I was sure he had said something about needing to see you…" I shrugged. "Sorry! But I took the liberty of starting on Yuki's clothes for you!" I patted the running washer, stopping short when she giggled.

"Actually those are my clothes," she corrected. I balked, my face draining of color. What had I just…?

_Oh, hell._


End file.
